Interview on Speaking of China

Unless you are one of us, you might have never heard of the Chinese phrase yangxifu (literally "Western daughters-in-law," the collective name for most non-Asians women married to Chinese men). 

We used to be rather rare, since it seemed to be that it was always the white guys who were marrying Asians and not the other way around. But the tide is changing. 

One of the most widely read yangxifu around is Jocelyn Eikenburg, the brains behind her immensely popular website, Speaking of China. 

She talks about a huge gamut of things with her many readers -- including life in China and that most terrifying of subjects, the Chinese mother-in-law -- and addresses what seems to be a great need for information that is pretty much unavailable elsewhere. 

Jocelyn and I finally got together, though, to chat not about those things, but rather to delve into one of my favorite subjects: Chinese cuisine.

In this article called "Ask the Yangxifu: Carolyn J. Phillips on Charming a Chinese Family Through Food," Jocelyn talked with me about everything from the role food played during my courtship with now-husband (and then-boyfriend) J. H. Huang to one of my favorite questions, "What Chinese food-related dos and don’ts do you wish someone had told you before you married your husband?" 

Check out the interview if you have the chance, and if you know someone who is either married to or going out with a Chinese guy, let her know about Jocelyn and her unique site.

My dinner with Cecilia

Legendary Chinese restaurateur and bon vivant Cecilia Sun Yun Chiang -- of the late great Mandarin Restaurant in Ghirardelli Square in San Francisco -- came over for dinner last night with some other good friends.

Cecilia, as she's universally known, turned 90 last year. Her birthday party was held at Chez Panisse. Alice Waters closed the restaurant in order to host the party for her good friend. Which was attended by 100 of her closest friends. Which includes Eddie Fisher. And that's Cecilia's world. She knows everyone, and everyone who knows her pretty much loves her to pieces.

And yet, saying that Cecilia knows everyone doesn't give this experience the right perspective. She truly knows everyone. You've heard of the game "seven degrees of Kevin Bacon," right? Well, once you know Cecilia, you are pretty much two degrees from everybody else. 

We started lobbing out names, and she'd not only say she knew them, but she'd start telling us stories about each person. Not willing to be bested, my husband ( J. H. Huang), noted that he had been friends with a great tai chi master, Zheng Manqing. "Ah, he was married to my cousin," said Cecilia, and then we went off on a delightful tai chi tangent.

I cooked a completely vegetarian banquet for her, including some Shanghainese specialties like Fried Scallion Noodles, Mustard Pickles, and A Too Soft Heart (recipes to follow). Other dishes included vegetarian versions I'd created that were spins on Fuzhou-style Red Wine Lees Chicken, Taiwanese Oyster Rolls, Braised Lamb with Chinese Radishes, and Sichuanese Spicy Steamed Bao. Dessert was also designed to intrigue this woman who's uniquely hard to surprise: Coconut Mochi Cake with Sweet Red Beans, as well as plates of fresh Grapefruit Jellies.

More about Cecilia can be found in her two fascinating books, Seventh Daughter and The Mandarin Way.